Are You Feeling Lucky?
In a conversation with a friend over the weekend, I said something that surprised even myself.
"I was lucky enough to go through some horrible shit when I was pretty young".
We both laughed really hard at that statement. Who would be thankful for going through such a terrible experience? Especially one that has taken me years to overcome and work through. But when we both stopped laughing there was a bit of silence, because he understood what I meant.
This was a huge step for me, to look at my experiences without hate and anger. To see the transformation it brought me instead of harping on the experience itself. And it was pretty relevant to the conversation at hand, which was about not seeing yourself as the victim anymore.
We all have our crosses to bear, our demons to face. We can spend the rest of our lives carrying those crosses like a show piece saying "LOOK! look at my pain!". We can wage war against our demons every day and spend the evenings licking our wounds. Or we can free ourselves of them completely by not letting them define us. Yes, these awful things change and shape us, but so do the good parts of life. So why do we focus only on the bad?
It is because we are afraid to let them go. What will your excuse be for not having healthy relationships if you stop blaming the past? Whose fault will it be that you don't like your job or that you don't take care of yourself? We cannot change what others have done to us, but we can take responsibility for how we live our lives afterward.
I am no longer a victim. I am a phoenix that has risen from the ashes to fly across the sky and show my beautiful colors. All because I was lucky enough "to go through some horrible shit when I was pretty young" and burn down to nothing. So let me ask you, are you feeling lucky?